1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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