booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
