Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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