Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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