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• (516): View more from New York

  The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.

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• (909): View more from California

  it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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• (863): View more from Florida

  We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Either he pets my cat or this deal is null

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you

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