im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
