OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
