My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
