just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will pee on everything he values.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
