She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
