For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
