If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
