I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
