I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
