God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
