If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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