You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
