Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
they're like a gay fantastic four
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
