take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
