dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
