He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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