Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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