We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize