He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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