Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
