I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
