Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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