so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
