Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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