What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
