you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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