dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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