But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
