gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
