i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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