Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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