He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we made out on top of his cat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
