Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
