I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
