i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
