good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
