she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
