Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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