i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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