Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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