I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
