We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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