We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
