Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize