The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
