Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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