Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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