yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
