Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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