Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Houston, we have a blender
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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