Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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