Betty ford says i'm here all night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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