Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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