The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize