Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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