come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
