I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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