Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
