I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
