i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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