I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
