At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize