smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
