I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
