your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
